Infertility can kiss my bruised, lumpy butt.

The thought of our last transfer is starting to feel very heavy as it gets closer. On one hand, I can’t possibly describe the happiness I feel every time I pick up the meds from hell, that I know that this is the actual last time I have to go through this. On the other… Continue reading Heavy

For 5 years, I’ve given my body, mind, and soul to infertility. It has consumed me. Synthetic hormones have taken over my body and mind. There have been very few days in the past 5 years that I haven’t been on some medication or other, altering basically everything about me. My poor husband deserves an… Continue reading Showing up for myself

Well. After speaking with my nurse (who is honestly the best ever) last week, it turns out that I can’t transfer again until April 10. I’ve been so bitter about this that I didn’t even want to write about it. I’ve just been stewing. All I wanted was to get it done as quickly as… Continue reading Pity Party

We got the official call yesterday that the transfer didn’t work. I’ve known for awhile, but it’s official now after the blood test. I talked with my dr in the evening and we have a plan for the last one. I’m doing 2 more months on the medication from hell (and then never again), then… Continue reading Nope 😭

I promised y’all I’d take you with us on our journey from the beginning this time, so here we are! We just transferred this beauty yesterday, 12/19. It’s a beautiful expanded blastocyst; the dr was very pleased with it and so are we! This is our 7th embryo transfer, so we’re going for all the… Continue reading Lucky #7 🤞💕

I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages of VERY wanted and loved babies. [Note: they are labeled as “missed abortion” on my medical records.] It means there was no heartbeat, but my body didn’t expel them on its own. Now, maybe it would have in time or maybe it wouldn’t have, but I didn’t want to wait… Continue reading More questions than answers

Miscarriage. It sucks, and people don’t want to hear about it. There’s a reason that women and couples suffer alone and in silence through this terrible trauma. Because when they share, people clam up and start avoiding you, like it’s some contagious disease they’re going to catch. It makes people uncomfortable and they don’t know… Continue reading Let’s talk about the thing we don’t talk about

I guess the title says it all. We were hoping to have a happy announcement soon, but here we are again with another miscarriage. 💔 We transferred our first beautiful donor embryo on April 11th and it looked like everything was great. The embryo was so perfect and I had great tests and betas (blood… Continue reading Miscarriage #2

Hey y’all! It’s been awhile since I’ve updated, but I promise we haven’t just been twiddling our thumbs. A LOT has been happening, both in our infertility lives and actual lives. We are in the middle of a PCS (military move) to Louisiana! I’m a little nervous as I’ve never even been to that state,… Continue reading Embryo Donation

Just like that, 2 years later, 9 donor egg (DE) embryos are gone and we still don’t have a baby. Somewhere in the realm of $75,000 gone…no baby. Hundreds of injections, ultrasounds, blood tests, painful exams…no baby. It’s hard to describe the feeling, to be honest. I do still cry at every failure, but it’s… Continue reading And now they’re gone…