Infertility can kiss my bruised, lumpy butt.

I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages of VERY wanted and loved babies. [Note: they are labeled as “missed abortion” on my medical records.] It means there was no heartbeat, but my body didn’t expel them on its own. Now, maybe it would have in time or maybe it wouldn’t have, but I didn’t want to wait… Continue reading More questions than answers

Miscarriage. It sucks, and people don’t want to hear about it. There’s a reason that women and couples suffer alone and in silence through this terrible trauma. Because when they share, people clam up and start avoiding you, like it’s some contagious disease they’re going to catch. It makes people uncomfortable and they don’t know… Continue reading Let’s talk about the thing we don’t talk about

I guess the title says it all. We were hoping to have a happy announcement soon, but here we are again with another miscarriage. 💔 We transferred our first beautiful donor embryo on April 11th and it looked like everything was great. The embryo was so perfect and I had great tests and betas (blood… Continue reading Miscarriage #2

Hey y’all! It’s been awhile since I’ve updated, but I promise we haven’t just been twiddling our thumbs. A LOT has been happening, both in our infertility lives and actual lives. We are in the middle of a PCS (military move) to Louisiana! I’m a little nervous as I’ve never even been to that state,… Continue reading Embryo Donation

Just like that, 2 years later, 9 donor egg (DE) embryos are gone and we still don’t have a baby. Somewhere in the realm of $75,000 gone…no baby. Hundreds of injections, ultrasounds, blood tests, painful exams…no baby. It’s hard to describe the feeling, to be honest. I do still cry at every failure, but it’s… Continue reading And now they’re gone…

Last month was rough, y’all. Dan was gone at NTC all month, and there’s nothing quite like being home alone for a month to remind you that you’re childless. I really don’t say things like that to be pitied, I’m just speaking my truth. It was hard. I haven’t struggled that hard with him being… Continue reading Loneliness

You’d think I wouldn’t be surprised anymore when things don’t go our way, yet each time is still a shock. Maybe because that little thing called hope is still alive and well. I still hope that things will go right. I went out to my dr in Arizona a couple weeks ago and endured a… Continue reading Setbacks

Trigger warning: This is a very raw and emotional account of our pregnancy loss. Dan and I are heartbroken to announce that our baby’s heart stopped beating at 8 weeks 4 days. I did not bleed or cramp, we found out at our scheduled ultrasound yesterday. I had what’s called a missed miscarriage. We had… Continue reading Pregnancy loss 💔

I can’t believe I actually get to write this...it still doesn’t feel real. But it is, I’m really pregnant! A lot went into this pregnancy, so here goes. I didn’t blog about this transfer because, to be honest, I was over it. All of it. I didn’t do any of the things I normally did… Continue reading Pregnant!! 🤰

Well, we transferred 2 more last week, and yet again, I’m not pregnant. On the transfer day, I got a phone call from my dr and embryologist, right before I left my hotel for the clinic. They had thawed 2 for us and were unhappy with the way they looked. He said they were alive… Continue reading Tired